Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

" The younger brother must help to pay for the pleasures of the elder."

~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Considering all the "pleasures" I've had as the oldest child.....

Muah-haha-haha!

A thousand apologies to my all of my readers for letting so long go by without a blog. I was in the south of France for several days (life is hard) and then I had a bit of french homework to catch up on. So now you can rest your nerves and let all those withdrawl symptoms go, I am back to my ever-so-entertaining blog.

It's a new post on my blog and a new day in Lyon...

*View from my kitchen balcony

So, where did we leave off?

Ah yes, the mini-vacations we took to Erquy and Nantes with my brother. Once we got back to Lyon, my brother had about a week and a half left here in France. I had to make sure it was jam packed with lots of fun and educational activities!

1.) International Appreciation

Being that I go to school with kids not from France....I am now one of the "international kids"

So I gathered a few of my other classmates and we showed my brother a good time.

I think my brother was a bit scared cause one kid was asking my brother if he had ever tried swedish meatballs, another asked him if he wanted to try a spanish tortilla, and yet another asked if he was familier with irish creamer ???

At the restaurant, a "french" magician came up to the table and said he would use his "french" magic to take my bra off without even touching it !! (It must be a popular french trick because I think I have been told that before by another frenchman)

*For those of you wondering, he secretly had previously tied to two ends of a handkerchief to a black bra (not mine) and once he said "Voila" everyone thinks it was my bra, but I think he shouldn't have used an A-cup and picked me as the model ! Just sayin'

2.) Urban Art

I'm not such a bad influence, I tought my brother some cultural artsy things too. One of the things Lyon is famous for are the street paintings on walls that are made to look like a real apartment building with people looking out from their window, or leaning off their balcony or as if a person was really leaning out of a bakery window. Generally, the people portrayed on these walls are famous people of Lyon from various centuries. The name for this kind of art, in french, is called "trompe l'oeil " (pronounced "tromp loy") or "trick the eye" The definition from Wikipedia may define it better for me,

"[trompe l'oeil] is an art technique involving extremely realistic imagery in order to create the optical illusion that the depicted objects appear in three-dimensions, instead of actually being a two-dimensional painting.

*Take 1

*Take 2

* I wanted to show you a close up of one of the people on the balcony. I have a lot of friends who are into film, acting, cinema, etc. This is a tribute to them. The two gentlemen depicted here the Lumiere Brothers and are credited with inventing the cinema, the motion picture camera that projects a film and the world's first public film screening. So thanks to them, you can watch all those fantastic movies on the big screen. A funny side note, lumiere (pronounced "loom-ee-air") means "light" in english. Coincidence?... I think not.

*The thingy that the Brothers Lumiere invented

*The wonderful and amazing world renowned french chef ... Paul Bocuse.

**Vincent wanted to pet his dog

3.) Religious Education

I had to teach my brother about the most important saint...

The amazingly old and intricate art work of the really old churches

and the influence of gothic architecture on the ...umm....churches of old

*yes we actually attended the service. Contrary to popular belief the Barretto family is composed of members who are extremely dedicated and devout Catholics but who also enjoy the pleasures and luxuries of life in moderation. Moderation is relative.

Holy Mary, Mother of God...a once in a lifetime experience,

we got to see up close and personal the ever famous Golden Virgin Mary (1843), who was removed from her place on one of the Basilica's steeples overlooking the city, for a cleaning. This rarely happens! But you can see the footage of her removal on youtube! Type: "Descente de la vierge dorée - Pastorale Jeunes Diocèse Lyon" in the search bar!

*You can see the Golden Virgin Mary on the left

On your next visit to Europe, prepare to spend all of your time inside the magnificent cathedrals...like so

After all this intense cultural/educational experience Vincent looked like this...

Being that my brother was tired and had a tough week, I felt like I needed to give him the right phrase to help him get through such a time, and I think I speak for all my fellow adults when I say the correct phrase is, " I NEED A DRINK!"

Being that drinking in public is against the law everywhere except Las Vegas, the french quarter in New Orleans, and Fiesta...

NYPD came to issue a ticket and protect the streets of Lyon!

With that being said.....I need a drink !

Stay tuned for the next post where we journey to Paris to take my little bro to the airport to return home to the good ole US of A!

This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!

Life's a beach...

and then...you move to France!

So, day deux (that's french for two, pronounced somewhere between 'duh' & 'do') of our "year since we met" anniversary, we travelled to the beach town of Erquy (pronounced 'air-key') Stephane's family owns a chateau there. Hahaha, you wish! But they do own a pretty swell beach house! The beach town that is Erquy is located on the northwest coast of France, around the English Channel area. (Hmmm speaking of english channels, there are none in France. Well except the ever controversial Al-Jazeera. But it's nice to hear the news from the 'otherside') So here is a map of France to help you keep track of all the places I have talked about in my blog.

So you are probably thinking to yourself, "Self....there are 2 towns on Veronique/Ceci's map that I have no idea about! WTF?" So St. Raphael is a beach town near Cannes....I really hope you know that city from the major film festival there. We are going to St. Raphael this weekend to visit Stephane's parents who are vacationing there for 2 weeks. It's a hard life huh?

*St. Raphael's beach

*Stephane's "beach"

hahaha

The other town is St. Malo (near Erquy) and I am pointing this beach town out specifically for a dear friend who just so happens to be a real pirate!! He may reside in San Antonio and run his own office furniture business, but Mr. Andy Ortega is a pirate! (If your in the market for office furniture, look him up and tell him I sent you. His business is called Reddito. Check it out on the net.) http://www.reddito.net/

*For all those who are lost 'Pyrata' is spanish for pirate

So St. Malo is the home of the old 17th century french pirates who would pillage and plunder the boats that sailed the English Channel. Technically speaking they were called privateers because they were sanctioned by the government. For those of you scratching your heads right now it means the pirates were allowed by the St. Malo government to do pirate things like take over ships and steal the money/treasure/women etc and in exchange the St. Malo government would suckle on the money nipple of the pirates.....tu comprends? (french for: you understand?)

*St. Malo's beach

*Ain't that a 'beach'?

And here are some classic examples of what french pirates looked like:

So enough of the french lesson right?

Where were we....Oh yeah....So we made a day trip out to Erquy

*One of Erquy's beaches

*One of my 'beaches' !

hahaha! jk jk That's my Dad, aka Daddio, to whom I owe my sense of humor!

And before attacking the spectacular beach of Erquy....we were a bit hungry. And when you're at the beach and hungry, what better to eat than a lot of MOULES!!!!! (that's french for Mussels)

*Mmmmmm.....we love to eat moules!

We had a wonderful meal, beachside and under the sun!

* You can't see her because she is under the table, but Dolce was there too!

Another popular food from Bretagne (Erquy is part of Bretagne and Bretagne is explained in one of my first posts,......keep up people!!) are galettes...better known as crepes. You haven't had a crepe/galette unless you've had one from Bretagne, the inventor of this yummy food. For my fellow americans who are totally clueless as to what a galette/crepe is....it's basically a reallllllllllly thin version of a pancake. But its more than just a breakfast food. You can put whatever you want in your galette! I know I do! (hee hee) You can put seafood, meat, veggies, sweets, or even eat it plain! Somehow I feel really dirty after writing the last two statements.

* About to manger on some galettes.

(Manger is french for 'to eat', pronounced [mohn-jay])

And after we ate......it was time to beach!!!

*Dolce doesn't like the water

*She really doesn't like it
*The black doggy is Stephane's family dog, named Pilou (pronouced Pee-Loo)

*The tide was strong

So that was our adventure to Erquy!! What a 'beach'!

And to all my family, friends, and fans.........

P.S. I do have a few french readers that I need to provide an explanation for......Beach sounds super similar to the english explicative 'Bitch' You may have heard of it. So anytime I use the subtitle "beach" and there is no picture of a beach....I am making a reference to the word 'Bitch' And if further explanation is needed for how we use 'bitch' in english slang please refer to this website... http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/bitch

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Stay tuned to the next post!

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This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!

"Love is...

...a grave mental disease." - Pluto

But that's ok cause I'm already a bit crazy. It's a good thing Pluto didn't know me cause I don't want to know what he would quote about me!

So back to the whole "love is a grave mental disease" thing. Stephane and I have been together for one year now! (All together....awwwwwww!) And yes, it is safe to say that together we create one strange mental disease! We were still in Nantes and decided to celebrate the day we first met (in addition to the first day we officially became a couple) because well we are all mushy and lovey dovey and we just really like reasons to drink and go out. Oh and we spent a better part of that year 5163 kilometers apart, so don't even think about giving me any crap about how sappy this entry may seem or how corny it is to celebrate both the first day we met and when we became a couple, cause I will straight up get gangsta on yo booty!

Just because we are so nice, we took along VinMan to witness this love fest. We started out by having a drink at a local bar in Nantes and by drink, I mean an entire bottle of wine. I don't measure my wine consumption by glasses, I measure it by bottles. Don't try it at home folks...I am a trained professional!

The picture below is Vincent and I trying to calculate how many bottles of wine I have consumed since the year 2002. (do the math...I was drinking wine since before I was 21, that makes me a professional)

The next photo is my reaction to the number of bottles I have imbibed since 2002 (plus the one we were drinking) hahaha

Stephane drank to that as well (considering he has been a partner in wine since the first day we met)

And Vincent, well he toasted with his reflection cause he was feeling like the third wheel

So, ya'll are probably wondering just how many bottles I've guzzled down.....

I think Vincent's face says it all ... a FFFFFreakin Shload of wine

Yes you read it right, a FFFFFFreakin Shload!!

Shload is another word from the Veronique Dictionary:

Shload [sh-lohde] n. 1. an amount too much to count 2. the combination of the words sh*t and load stemming from the ever popular slang word, sh*tload!

Example: I have drank a shload of wine in my time.

Did you honestly think I was going to incriminate myself like that? The IRS would most definitely make me pay a tax if I disclosed that number!

Next, we walked across the street to have our celebration dinner at a restaurant that served some tasty "aperitifs" aka the french word for "appetizer in drink form". (Oh my Lord, how I love the french! Before they let you eat their food, they make sure the 'spirit' is with you, and I am not talking about the holy one.)

* Vincent with his aperitif

And, the best part was the awesome Zebra decor!!! In case you don't know, I am obsessed with something other than wine and it is Zebra print! My room back at home is allllllllllllllllllllllllll zebra...well that is if my parents haven't turned it into their private "office".

And, the next best thing after the Zebra-ness was the YUMMY food!!!!

*My dish - Assorted "Fruits of the Sea" (that's what the call seafood, en francais= 'fruits de la mer' [froo-ee deh lah mare])

*Stephane's Dish - Albacore Tuna Steak (tuna en francais = thon)

*Vincent's Dish - Gigantic Shrimp over Pasta (shrimp en francais = crevette [krev-oht])

(gigantic shrimp en francais = gambas)

Then we decided to walk of the meal. Well actually, Vincent and I walked and Stephane hobbled cause he was still on crutches from his attempt at qualifying for the Olympic french hurdle team.

*Vincent tried to be nice and make Stephane feel loved. Little do you know that Vincent was actually kicking at Stephanes crutches the whole way to the car!

On a strange, yet important, side note...It has come to my attention that lots of french women stop buying pants when they are 13 and wear them until they are 35! This creates the reverse camel toe effect and looks like so...

French women !!!!!!!! Stop !!!!!!!!!!!! It is not only horrible to look at, but it causes yeast infections!!!!!! Buy new pants that don't create the GREAT DIVIDE!!!!!! And a special thanks to my brother who so willingly posed for this picture!

Back to our one year (when we met) anniversary.

To end the night, we went to a bar that looks like the inside of a pirate ship and drank some more and listened to some good ole american rock and roll!!! Oh, and we were totally getting a kick out of these 2 couples sitting near us. Apparently they met on the internet under the "young couple seeks other couple for misc. (fore) playtime" and this was their first meeting, one couple was horrified by the other and were trying to guzzle their drinks down and get the hell outta Dodge! Super funny!

Hope you enjoyed our first (when we met) anniversary! Hope it wasn't too sappy!

Stay tuned for the post about our trip to the beach

This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!