Thursday, February 26

Lyon can suck on my bone! We're moving to Dijon!!!

Okay, soooooo I am so over Lyon......

I got bored and quite frankly I was losing blog material......
Plus I heard the mayor got wind of my rendition of Lyon history and wasn't too happy. Damn the french snobbism......they have no sense of humor when it comes to making fun of their culture. Ugh!

So now I get a new city to pick on........a new history to make fun of, er uh, I mean recount...
Hopefully this one will be more into my sense of humor.....

So, why did we move to Dijon?
Well, Stephane got hired by a company called Groupama. Yes my friends, he did the impossible, he actually found a salary paying job during the financial crisis! So what does this company...."Groupama" do? Well anything with "-ama" for an ending has to be awesome right?

It ain't no drama if Obama is on yo mama without her pajama while pretending she's his llama.

Okay, well maybe not that cool....it's actually an insurance & banking company. I know, I know, you would think the last place to hire these days would be an insurance/bank company....but apparently they need lawyers these days.

Here is where Stephane works......its the shizz-ama!

They don't allow clocks in the building so everyone has to go outside to see the time.


So upon getting hired, they told Stephane that he needed to move to Dijon and be ready to start in one month......so we had to really kick our Ass-ama's in high gear and find an apartment..... and in this blog you get to come along on our trip-ama.

So we have our first apartment-ama visit at 9am......it takes 2 hours to drive there......1 hour to get ready and have breakfast-ama, so we had to wake up at 5ama !!

Stephane is very perky at 6am!



Of course the McDonald's on the way doesn't serve breakfast food....but they tell us with a smile that they are open breakfast hours with a regular menu!! So we had the breakfast of champions.....of heavy weightlifting.....ugh McDonald's burger at 6am......stomache ache-ama!! And a lesser known fact is that with the exception of select McDonald's, there are absolutely no places to get breakfast food in France.....where are the Jim's, Denny's, Cracker Barrells when you need them?


Mmmmmmm!



Smootchies to the McDonald's "Le M"


I want to eat the box-ama!!!

And seriously, you would think that someone in the translation-ama department would have thought twice about calling their ranch dressing wanna be......CREAMY DELUXE!




I love it when I have CREAMY DELUXE Sauce in my mouth!

Open wide, for CREAMY DELUXE !!


It wasn't until we got to Dijon that we noticed that the printer was out of ink when we printed the directions.....so it was super super light gray every other direction line and the rest was.....well, white ink?








I have no idea where to go?

Stephane turned to the CREAMY DELUXE for answers.....

So after driving around aimlessly-ama we found the first apartment, fell in love with it! Saw the second one, which was decorated like someone threw up greek deco, plaid, yellow, yucky crap on the walls (you think i am joking?) It was so bad, it gave me indigestion! And that was on top of the McDonalds burger and swallowing all that CREAMY DELUXE!!!!
Anywho, we didn't have the will power (nor the printed directions) to see the third apartment and besides, we already knew that the first apartment was for us.....so we called the owner-ama and told her we wanted it! She asked us for the secret password....which was obviously CREAMY DELUXE!!! And with that the apartment was ours!!!

Stephane telling the owner the secret password...

YAY for CREAMY DELUXE and OUR NEW APARTMENT!!!!

Dolce thinks we are strange....but she loves us anyways
And now......stay tuned for the "Moving out of our Lyon apartment-ama" blog!!
This is Veronique, the American-ama formerly known as Ceci, signing out!!

AMA!!!!!!!!

Never toooo much wine... to ring in '09

Well my friends, I have internet back! We were offline because of our move to Dijon....but no longer! Now you may laugh again!! Or just think I am strange.....
So, where were we?? Ahh yes! New Years 2009!
Well it started out tame.....the French family having a brunch at Crumpets with the crazy Mexican-American family. They were staring at us for not knowing how to use a fork and knife properly......and my dad had to ask for tortillas for his filet of beef tenderloin!!!
So after we had a yummy brunch we went home, decorated, and set out all the yummy food and drinks!
The pictures of our New Years grow 'silly' very quickly....
Me with Momma Frenchie and Granny Frenchie
Me and my biznatches!!! aka Mom and Sis

Toasting in the New Year!!!
The other side of the circle...

And one big group picture!!! 3....2....1....Happpppppy Neeeeeew Yeeeeeaaaaarrrr!!!
Now lets blow on our noise makers!
He can blow his quicker!!
She can blow hers farther!!
She can blow hers longer!
We were interrupted mid-blow!!
Yo Momma ......... (you can fill in the phrase for yourself)
Then it was time for the "Crazy Hat" Game....
and the winner was......NewYearHatOSauraus
I was attracted to the beak...
Some of us entered the "crazy faces" category.....

And after not tooooooo much wine......there was some dancing.....


You know the night ended up great, when Rey couldn't find his drink......that was on his forehead the whole time!!!
I would have included the "other" photos.....but Frenchie's family left and thought we just played cards and then went to bed.....and what they don't know won't hurt them......muahahahaha
Stay tuned to the blog about moving from Lyon to Dijon.......
This is Veronique, the american formerly known as Ceci ... signing out!

Sunday, February 1

The Gringa goes back to her roots...

Yes, Yes, the gringa went back to Mexico, but she brought some peace offering gifts in the form of frenchmen!!! We all know the Spanish are to blame for taking over Mexico, sleeping with their women and multiplying the Mexican population (now you know where they picked up the habit of having so many fricken kids!) Well, you know the saying 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' ..... so I brought the mexicans some frenchmen......to kinda smoooooth things over.

Ok, whatever, it was really the family of my sugarpie, Stephane. Annnnd, they came to the US to visit my family!! (Really it was to try and get US citizenships, but they won't admit it. They heard that my family has the 'hookups' all over the place.)

So once they met my family, and didn't jump on the next plane home, I decided to go for the gold! They had to meet my Mexican family. The BBQin', Corona drinkin', tequila shootin', grito loving, taco obsessed, hugs for everyone, talk to ya til your ear falls off, and feed ya til you're torturously full......Mexican family! And they still didn't run for the Altantic Ocean.....these frenchmen are relentless! I had no more cards to throw at them, so they passed the Barretto test. They are officially Barretto material and will now be referred to as Barretto Groupies.

So here is the pictoral evidence from Mexico....the incriminating photos have been left out because I honor the "what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico....except the Mexicans" code.

My grandma grew up and spends about half the year here in El Cercado. It is about 20min south of Monterrey. This is the view of the mountains that surrounds the town and was also the background for hundreds of my extended family's conceptions.... and not mine....so stop thinking of my mom and dad doing the dirty.....
This is where my family went after their conceptual action.....
There is a famous waterfall in the town called Cola de Caballo....or Horse Tail Falls, for all you white folk out there. And this was the view on the drive up there.
Here it is....
Just Kidding.....that was my dad taking a pee....

This is it.....




It really is a sight. The photo below is a retake of one my mom and I took about 23 years ago.....back then there wasn't that many fences and obstacles so in the old photo you could see the waterfall in the background....but if you look hard enough you can still see it in the background.....( I fit a lot better in her lap back then too)
Awww.....nice photo
The stunning creators of Ceci ...
We are the Barretto's....we can't help but take strange photos and make others do it too...
They call their grandma 'Mami'......and Mami was a great sport!!
We picked this guy up at the waterfall.....he claimed he was Stephane's brother and he kinda spoke some broken french, so we let him come back with us.....
How big, how monsterous......(Im talking about the mountains)

How gorgeous, how sexy......(I'm talking about me!)
Stephane and I with our grandmothers. Mine is "Welita"...and his is "Mami"
And my youngest cousin is just a photo hog, but a cute photo hog!
The background of the neighboring town, Santiago, where our hotel was.

Big Barretto & Barretto Groupie Family Photo......say "squeeeeeeze"
Stay tuned for the post of New Years Eve!!
This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci ... signing out!