Cirque du Lyonnais

Coming to you from the other side of the plastic wine cup......
I present to you...
Cirque du Lyonnais

In circle number one we have the wonderfully enchanting, highly skilled, expert swordsman,
the very vixen & vivacious...Veronique the Victor!!!!

In circle number 2 we have the incredibly feisty, tempestuously tempting, master of the corkscrew, the painfully pretty putatita from sPain.....Paula the Punisher!

In circle number 3 we have the ever so villainous, dangerous to the touch, daredevil of the dagger, the sexy, steamy, stallion.....Stephane the Severe!

The vixen Veronique goes in for her first victim!! Poor Stephane is helpless against her sensous ways!!

In one swift move she attacks with the kiss of immobility!!! And Stephane is out for the count!

Now she moves on to Paula the Punisher. Veronique tried but Paula is impervious to her kiss of immobility. Now it's a fight of skill! On guard!!!

The battle is neck to neck....who will be victorious?!?

Paula lays a quick slash to Veronique's neck....

But Veronique is no stranger to the master workings of the sword!! She gains control and makes Paula her BIOTCH!!!

Mmmmm....Victory tastes good!!!

Who won.....I did!!! (I made Stephane do this)


This pictures are soley the outcome of drinking a bit more than is considered 'moderate' and the pictures were not taken before the story was created....no, no. Thats just what happens when good alcohol happens to bad people? Or is it when bad alcohol happen to good people?

Anyways here are some more of the events that transpired...after more alcohol.

I found this strange looking object on the counter at the party.....I didnt know what it was and neither did anyone else...don't believe me...look at the pics...






Then I found a pack of these little white filter things that people use when they roll their own cigarettes. Dont ask....just laugh.





*Still don't know what this thing is...

*The fun is contagious




**Alcohol Disclaimer......too much of it is bad!
BUT IT SURE MAKES GREAT PICTURES!!!!!


This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci....signing out

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk

Warning!!! This post is likely to make you want a drink or five. I encourage you to read this post two times. Once sober and once with a drink in hand!

With that being said....I hope you enjoy this post. Personally, I enjoyed the preparation for the subject of this post, as it required me to consume a hefty amount of alcohol. By alcohol, I mean wine. I rarely take in the hard stuff, well.......hard alcohol that is =) and beer is reserved for drinking games, Texas BBQs, and dive bars that don't serve wine.

So, now that we have set the mood for this post let me tell you why I got a bit loopy, my Spanish friend Paula had Miriam, her bestest friend of almost 20 years, come to visit her here in Lyon. She is spanish too of course. One spanish girl is wild by herself so imagine when you get two of them together. So they twisted my arm and made me go to Paula's apt, get drunk and then go to a house warming party. I resisted for all of -2 seconds. hehehe. The following group of photos are the events that transpired. And be prepared because I have included live footage of just how strange I am when I get some wine in my system, oh....and also how much of a bad/good influence spanish girls are.

*Paula is on the left. Miriam on the right

*Only one drink down and she is already making faces!

* It didn't take long for Paula and I to follow!

* In my drunken stooper, I think I remember telling her, " In order to take the perfect self-photo, you have to make sure the arm is long and stiff and that the hole is pointed right at your face." HAHAHAHA

*Onto the house warming party.

* I proceeded to show the spanish girls how to get "bobble-headed ghetto bizatch!"

** I think because people at the party kept looking at me like I was foreign....oh wait! I am!"

*SO I showed the example face and made the others try it out. And they had to say "Nuh uh girrrrl!! I know these b*tches ain't starin' at me!?!" at the same time!

*Paula was pretty darn good at it

*And so was Stephane (but he lived in San Antonio for 8 months, so he better know how)

*It took her a few times, but eventually Miriam got it!

*Then she taught us a trick

*And I thought I had a big mouth =(

* They are helpless!

AND NOW FOR THE GRAND FINALE!!!!!

WARNING!!!

THE FOLLOWING IS ONLY FOR

THE OPEN MINDED AND AGE APPROPRIATE AUDIENCE

AND LASTLY, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEARCH FOR QUOTES ABOUT DRINKING AND THESE WERE MY FAVORITES!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. - Raymond Chandler

I drink to make other people interesting. - George Nathan

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. - ??

There can't be good living where there is not good drinking. - Ben Franklin

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Drinking doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....against bars, tables, chairs, and poles. - ??

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." - Rodney Dangerfield

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of a wine, or any other reason - Latin Proverb

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills. ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

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For each sip I take, I think of you, my friends and family far and near! I'm a caring and thoughtful person so I try to dedicate one sip for each person close to my heart. Also its a quick way to finish a bottle!

Stay tuned for the next post!

This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!

*and in this case....passing out

Why do zee French have zee cheese and zee Arabs have zee oil?

Because zee French had zee first pick!!
hee hee hee

Ok that was my stab at how funny it is to hear th French say "zee" all the time instead of "the"

But to all my french readers out there, I'm sure there are 1,000 things I say in my very American accent that are funny, but you're gonna have to start a blog first before you can make fun of me.

Muahahaha

So after filtering through french jokes trying to find one that was postable....I didn't say funny.....just postable....I finally decided on this post's topic. I had to put on my thinking face for the occasion:

It came to my attention that none of you has seen or read about my studies here in France.....where do I go to school, what does it look like, what are my classmates like?? How rude of me! I have declared today "Take Your Blog Fans to School Day"
Here we goooooooo......

Upon waking up, showering and eating some grub, I find my way to the elevator and make one last mirror check before heading to school. This happens 5 days a week and 3 hours a day. (and I am referring to school, not the mirror session)



I walk the 15 minutes to the Metro...

This is my view as I wait for the metro

Then the task is to find a seat that is not next to someone smelly, someone who tries to hit on you, someone who stares at you the whole time, loud and annoying youth, someone begging for money, someone who wants to ask you questions (in french)....you get the picture.

*This guy tried to tell me he would be my personal Lyon guide. He seemed legit cause he had a guide book, but I refused....he came off as a bit looney!


And finally after one change over and like 10 stops and some more walking.....we arrive to my school!
The Alliance Francaise!!

The Entrance

The outside

The Courtyard

More Courtyard/Smoker's Tables

The side view....my class window is on the second level

The lobby where we socialize

The stairway to my class

My classroom

The Alliance Francaise is a super great school and super famous! They have chapters all over the world! But the one I go to is the best! Its so popular, even Jesus comes here to learn french!


Here is my class from July:


The teachers here are amazing and very patient with all us non-french folks!
But french grammer like all grammer can be taxing at times....



But once the school bell rings....we are back into action and ready to practice all the french we have learned!!!



The Lyon-ians enjoy spending time on their riverbanks, socializing, drinking, etc.
We have to practice the french drinking habits!



We practice the french "fete" concept!

But I don't think the French get this crazy!

This guy is from Japan....Can't understand a word he says in French or any language, but he is always a hit at the parties!

There are a crap load of Spaniards here! And they are the wildest of them all!

The Croatian gals have the highest tolerance to hard alcohol and it's impossible to keep the clothes on the Brazilian girls!

Of course the Mexican would get all the ladies! Pinche Cabron!

CHALE...eeeeehhhhhhhhhh!

Even the professors think we are cool enough to chill with!


And only the most daring french invite us foreigners in....


It was short, but sweet! Hope you liked my school !! And don't forget....it's the girls from Texas that are the ones your mom warned you about!!!!!

This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!