Sunday, August 3

Who wants to go "Chateau"ing?

So, in case you didn't know chateau is the french equivalent for castle (it's pronounced "shah-toe"). And as always, I like to make up words that sound cool, hence the verb chateauing. Let's look at the excerpt from Veronique's Dictionary:

chateauing [shah-toe-ing] v. to explore a chateau

So, Stephane, Vincent and myself went chateauing. And for your reading enjoyment, I will now narrate a story to go along with our chateauing experience.

There once was a chateau in the kingdom of Nantes and it was ruled by Prince Vince and his sister, Princess Cec.

Now Princess Cec was the fairest in all the lands, no other princess was as beautiful, smart, talented, funny, or freakin' awesome as she. Every king and every prince wanted to marry her.

Sadly there was an evil queen who wanted to do away with the princess. So she hired a henchman named Frenchie the Henchie to steal the Princess and take her to the forest and turn her into a wild boar. Prince Vince and Princess Cec knew of this evil plan and had to keep a constant watch over their chateau.

One day while Prince Vince was standing guard, Frenchie the Henchie came from his smelly hut in the nearby forest to try and kidnapp the Princess. Prince Vince tried to shoot him from the chateau tower, but Frenchie the Henchie was too quick and he overtook the guards at the gate and made his way inside the chateau.

But, Princess Cec was waiting on the inside to take him on! In one swift move they both pulled out their guns and the trash talk was heard a mile away.

"Thou art a droning doghearted codpiece!" shreaked Princess Cec.
"Thou art a gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker!" snorted Frenchie the Henchie.
"Thou art a lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast!" Princess Cec sneared.

Frenchie the Henchie was outrageously appalled by the horrible insults the Princess was yelling. And a fit of rage consumed him. In a blink of an eye he stole the gun away from the Princess.

Prince Vince was not so far and came to his sister's rescue.

"Let me grab my giant weapon!" said the Prince

"Not that weapon!" yelled the Princess!

So the Prince grabbed the right weapon

And in a split second, he shot the guns from Frenchie the Henchie's hands and because he was such a gentleman, he let his sister have the honors...

And to Frenchie the Henchie's surprise, the gun had a secret switch that turned the victim into a gargoyle!

And Prince Vince, well... he swallowed him whole.

The End

A special thanks goes to Stephane for being such a good sport and letting us use his crutches as props! You see, he hurt his heel really bad trying to clear a locked gate to a tennis court and the Doc made him use crutches. Also a special thanks goes to the wonderful and historic Chateau of Nantes. It was the Chateau for the country of Bretagne, now a part of France. (Read my first entry and Bretagne is explained a little more)

Stay tuned for the next adventure!

This is Veronique, the American formerly known as Ceci...signing out!


ramon said...

All this time I thought chateauing was talking on the internet. I'm so dumb. Nice story, Frenchie the henchie was damn lucky Prince Vinc did't use that big ass weapon. Can you say "pulverize past your eyes"? Hope all is well, and we miss you like crazy.
Love (thoym)

Anonymous said...

You are such a dork and I LOVE IT!. Keep keeping me entertained, and write back!!!!